Hello.

I win.

That’s about all you’ll be able to type when you head online with Mario Kart for the Wii. As reported on by IGN, “text chat” is a relative term. Instead of offering keyboard support or the 20th century version of communication known as voice chat, you’ll select from a number of pre-determined messages and shoot those out to the people in room. Hello PC Doom circa 1993.

In other somewhat related news, if you like using a steering wheel that isn’t attached to a base, you can plunk down an additional $11 or so dollars for a hunk of plastic know as the Wii Wheel. Why anyone would use the one bundled, let alone spend money for a second one, is beyond all logic.