So, you have a buddy who lives in the UK. You live in the US. Both of you plunk down the proper currency to indulge in EA’s Army of Two. Both of you agree on a long night of co-op play, since the game is built upon the mechanic.

Sorry to say, that’s not going to work.

It turns out the PS3 version suffers from the same issue, but regardless, this is a first on the Xbox Live service. EA’s response was that this was implemented to reduce server loads.

If you remember a while back, it’s things like this that made the eventual deal to get EA on board with Xbox Live a shaky proposition. Previously, they shut down a staggering amount of servers for older titles, something that is not an issue with any other developer due to the set up of Xbox Live.

For a paid service, it’s unacceptable. With the PS3 being free, developers could do anything they want and no one could complain. Microsoft should be implementing better quality control in these situations, though knowing the online history between the two companies, there’s probably nothing they could do.

Microsoft has finally knocked some cheaters down a notch on Xbox Live.

Instead of an outright banning, they went a step further. If you were caught boosting your Gamerscore, you just lost all of those points you thought you had. Better yet, your account has forever been branded with a “cheater” tag so everyone you play with now knows you were too lazy to even play a video game without assistance.

You can still play all you want and legitimately gain points until the end of time. However, those points that were wiped clean? They’re gone. Even if you replay those games, they’re done. Kaput. Lost. Better yet, this cannot be appealed. Microsoft’s gavel is down, and there is no appeal process.

So, to all of those who are now branded, we give you a big Nelson Muntz “Ha Ha” to you. You can’t say you weren’t warned.

The wonders of a mod-based community never cease to amaze. Unreal Tournament 3 on the PS3 has gained a following with the open community, a rarity for any console shooter. This is a market typically for PC oriented gamers.

Thankfully, someone has used this available feature to create some killer character models. Master Chief? Check. Cloud Strife? Check. Marcus Fenix? Check. Not only are the models in the game, they’re basically indistinguishable from their actual counter parts on the competing hardware. In all actuality, Master Chief looks even better. Since the Gears of War characters rely on the same graphics engine, it’s not too surprising how accurate they are, but there’s still an immense level of skill involved there.

Prototype looks to be a fun, open world romp in a futuristic setting. As a single player experience, it looks to be coming together nicely. However, no longer does it look like the multi-player functionality will be… it won’t have any.

To meet the release date, the developer has dropped the co-op play from the title. There are hints that this could be a future download post-release. So, here starts the conspiracy theory: Are they cutting it to snag an extra $10 from people after they purchased the game and labeling it as DLC? A TeamXbox interview with producer Tim Bennison goes into depth about the deletion of the multi-player. He goes onto to claim it’s been a single player experience from the start, and this keeps the game in focus.

For the one person still unaware, Jack Thompson is a Miami lawyer who has fought for years to prevent the sale of various video games. Some he doesn’t want sold to minors, some he wanted pulled from shelves in their entirety. He has appeared on TV too many times to mention, claiming Counter Strike, Halo, and other popular shooters were the cause of various tragedies around the country (even when the evidence to suggest a link doesn’t exist). Due to his crude, crass, and never particularly polite nature, he ended up on trial with the Florida Bar Association looking to revoke his license.

What Gamepolitics has done is taken the transcripts from nine days of his testimony, taken out the parts of interest, and posted them online. The nine part series is incredibly interesting to read, and posters particularly love the part about the fax machine. It’s worth reading them all if you’re a gamer to see how far one man can go to destroy your pastime.

What started on DOS (and other computer platforms of the era) is no more. Madden is done on the PC. The gist in non PR terms? It didn’t sell and no one played it on the PC anyway. Peter Moore explains in PR terms:

… the PC presents some very serious business challenges to us in the sports category, particularly because so many of you all are playing your favorite sports games on the PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii.

The comments section of that post is loaded with hatred including those who seem to think their small boycott of the console version will make a difference (note to those people: it won’t do anything). It’s admittedly sad to see that on a significant anniversary date that the original platform is shafted, but it’s hard to imagine sales were strong compared to the console versions.

The PC isn’t viewed as a hotbed for sports gamers. It’s forte is largely strategy and shooters. Can anyone blame EA for making this decision in the end? Surely those people complaining know the development cost and sales numbers, right? Right? Unless someone is willing to find this one themselves, it’s over.

Beyond the online issues and stupid plastic wheel, maybe this edition of Mario Kart will actually be fair.

The technique was known as snaking. Basically, Mario Kart awarded players for driving like idiots, drifting back and forth repeatedly continually gaining boost. Not only was this completely unfun for those who didn’t get the technique down, it sapped much of the strategy that came from using objects properly and took away some of the simple purity of the game. Mario Kart 64 used it, as did Mario Kart DS.

No more however. The concept is gone, eliminated, finished, kaput. The world rejoices. The shift has now gone to how long a player can hold the slide, certainly more challenging and fair.

The Olympic Games are popular gaming fodder. Each time the event rolls around, a developer takes advantage of the situation and drops some generic button mashing junk onto store shelves in celebration… or for a chance to increase their stock. In Nintendo’s case, we’re still a ways away from the actual Olympics. That didn’t stop the Mario and Sonic mash-up from selling a boatload of copies.

It’s overall rating of 67% on GameRankings speaks for the games overall quality, and it’s hard to disagree. The game is everything Olympic games suffer from, only instead of mashing buttons, you look moronic as you swing the controller around randomly in ways that can hardly be considered interactive. The games only bonus is a decent version of table tennis. Still, the name alone was apparently enough, even though the platforming icons first meeting was less than stellar. Sequel? You bet.

Remember the Collector’s Edition of Madden ‘07 that now sits at EB for a couple of bucks but retailed for $70 originally? Well, EA has a deal for you!

This years edition is even more special (for EA). For a staggering, Earth shaking, Madden record setting $90, you can get the 20th Anniversary edition. Yes, that’s a nine followed by a zero. For a yearly sports game. To its credit, this is also bundled with NFL Head Coach ‘09. Since the latter franchise disappeared since its (lackluster) debut in 2006, one can only hope the changes are worth the bundle. Or, does EA not see the game selling all that well on its own?

Also bundled is some - as of now - unspecified video content which will undoubtedly have some retrospective on the history of the franchise. No systems were specified either, though one can assume the PS3 and Xbox 360 will be on the receiving end of this one.

As unofficial as it may be, a GameFAQs poll has revealed an interesting stat. 42% of players are using Gamecube controllers. Add in the Classic Controller, and that number jumps to over half.

A measly 14% are using the actual console’s controller to play the game. While it’s certainly not suited for the game and familiarity with the previous generations device certainly come into play, it’s not hard to see this as a small statement on the “innovation” the Wii remote provides. It’s simply not suited for many types of games, and those that force the issue generally end up in failure.

If you’re spending $250 for game hardware, isn’t it somewhat telling that the hardcore audience (who are certainly the ones playing Smash Bros. en masse compared to their casual counterparts) is rejecting the new control method?

For a full list of offenses so you can avoid being on this list, see the roundup of rules on this post.

Gamertag: luv da chourico, Booge Man14714
Found: Halo 3 Team Doubles

Awards: Losing Trash Talker

Specific Offenses: Nothing is worse than saying “good game” to people when you enter the lobby after a match, only to have the opposing team explode on you for no reason at all. That’s what these two did. It’s even worse when they lose and won’t admit the match was fair. Unsurprisingly, that’s what these two did as well.

Gamertag: Sanctified 3, Killer Clown9274
Found: Halo 3 Big Team Battle

Awards: Outside Conversator, “That’s Gay” Guy

Specific Offenses: There’s annoying and then there’s these two. Two of the worst yet to make the list, everything they said involved either a penis or sex reference. Their inane chatter blocked out real communication during the match. After repeated attempts to ask them to stop, most of the team muted them. This only caused them to go further, including laughing about their behavior.

Gamertag: ARMAGEDON2122, i Own U 11
Found: Halo 3 Team Doubles

Awards: Losing Trash Talker, The Cheater

Specific Offenses: The Narrows may not be as bad as the Guardian in terms of hiding spots, but it can still be an easily exploitable map. Both of these two dropped to the bottom of the map with sniper rifles and began firing. They then tried hiding up top in hard to reach perches. After the game, even though they squeaked out a win by running away from a rocket launcher blast, they found it necessary to taunt relentlessly. Winning like that doesn’t even count as a win guys.

The launch of the one of the hottest titles in the Wii’s short history has finally arrived. If you want an idea of the chaos, Joystiq posted a video of what went down at on specific Gamestop that chronicles the moments before and after the midnight hour.

When a few of those gamers went home however, they may have found a small problem. The game wouldn’t work. According to Nintendo:

Super Smash Bros. Brawl utilizes a double-layer disc which has a large memory capacity. A very small percentage of Wii consoles may have trouble consistently reading data off this large capacity disc if there is some contamination on the lens of the disc drive.

This must apparently be the first Wii disc to use a dual layer DVD, as no other games have been reported with same issue. If your copy isn’t working, you can request a repair through Nintendo. I would NOT want to be Nintendo tech support today, especially after the number of delays people have already experienced waiting for this thing.